The Pipsqueak
"The Pipsqueak" is the first overall TAWOG fanfiction by TheMaximumMatt and the first episode of his fan-series,The Amazing Tales from Elmore. Transcript and Darwin are opening and closing their lockers Gumball: frustrated Ugh. I don’t understand why we need to learn trigonometry of all things! It’s basically just giving equations that you’ll inevitably never use in your life! Darwin: Come on, Gumball. There has to be some purpose to why we’re learning this. There are real-life applications. Gumball: Pfft. Like what? Build a right triangle house? Oh yeah. That’s way better than just the usual rectangular shape! How would you fit everything in a house with only three corners? Darwin: Well, there’s not just that! There’s also… uh… there’s… I mean… I guess you could… maybe… raises his eyebrow Darwin: I- I don’t know! OK?! This is stupid! All I know is that we learn it just so we can get our useless college degrees! Gumball: Exactly! I don’t see why we can’t just skip over it. OR better yet, how about teach why we don’t need it. That’s helpful! Darwin: Anais would probably enjoy it though. Gumball: Yeah. She’s one of the few people who would somehow find a forced way to apply it to everyone’s lives… where is she anyway? Darwin: Haven’t seen her all day. Misami Gumball: Hey, Masami? You wouldn’t happen to have seen Anais have you? Masami: Beats me. She was in the bathroom with us the last time I saw her. I was too busy trying to ignore Molly’s annoying blabbering to notice what she was doing. Haven’t seen her since, though. away with a headache and Darwin give an irked expression to each other Gumball and Darwin: Bathroom door. Darwin: Should we go help? Misami: Ew! No! You’re boys! It’s weird! Just wait until another girl needs to use the bathroom, and she can hold the door for your sis. Darwin: How long will that be? Gumball: Fair enough... Come on, Darwin. Onto our next class of learning useless facts that we’ll never apply to anything in our lives. Darwin: You mean science? Gumball: Exactly. and walks off Darwin: Hope we’re not dissecting frogs again. Gumball: I know. What’s the point of that even? It’s like we’re reenacting some B horror scene. to Anais jumping for the doorknob inside the bathroom Anais: with every jump Come on! Almost there! Come on! pants Seriously! Why is this door so high! Ugh! I give up! Might was well wait for someone to open the door for me… again. with her back against door and looks at her reflection on floor Look at yourself, Anais. You’re so pathetic. Tiny arms, tiny legs, tiny tail, tiny everything! If not for the fact you were a rabbit, you might as well be classified as one of Snow White’s seven dwarves! Your body is nothing but a hinder to your life! At Granny Jojo’s… to the family entering the house and slamming the door on Anais. Anais: Uh, guys! Guys! You left me outside again! tries to reach for the door, but fails. She sees the cat flap and squeezes through it, groaning while doing so. A nearby groups of cats laugh at Anais. End flashback Anais: …at Joyful Burgers… to Richard taking the kids to Joyful Burger Richard: I’ll have the number 5 for the oldest, a number 4 for the middle one here, a number 8 for me, and the mini Joy slider for the young one. Anais: What?! Why do I get the slider?! Richard: Duh. A normal sized burger is too big for your young stomach. Gumball: Yeah. I’ve seen you struggle to finish a darn apple. Anais: No fair! That apple had a worm in it! Gumball: sarcastically Uh-huh. Sure. Anais: My stomach is not that small! Larry: over tray at counter Hear you are. grabs the slider and holds it up to Anais’ body. The slider is nearly the same size as it. Gumball: Not that small. Huh? Anais: …I hate you. other costumers at the restaurant laugh and point at an irked Anais. End flashback. Anais: …at the mall… to the toy store in the mall where a store employee sees Anais Store employee: And there’s another fallen one. store employee grabs Anais by the ear, mistaking her for a toy Anais: What the?! Hey! I’m not a toy you dummy! store employee ignores Anais and puts her on the high shelf with the other animal dolls. Anais: Hey! Wait! employee walks away. Anais sighs as a group of kids laugh and point at her from the ground. End flashback. Anais: …even at your own house for crying out loud! to Anais rushing to the bathroom. She sees the doorknob and… Anais: Sighs Why do I even bother trying? a bucket next to her which reads “For Anais.” Argh! You gotta be kidding me! group of rats laugh and point at her from the side. End flashback. Anais: If you can’t do something as simple as reaching a doorknob, what does that mean for your future? pauses You know what? I’m not gonna let being a few feet short get in the way of crucial life elements! I don’t care what the universe says! Time to be the bigger person! Look out world, ‘cause here comes- SLAM! door opens and slams on Anais, crushing her between it and the wall. Clare: unemotionally Oh… sorry. I didn’t see you there. You’re smaller than you look. Anais: crushed It’s alright… I don’t blame you… pops out of door and walks outside, only to stumble across Julius and his gang Anais: Oh, of course. Thanks universe… Julius: Well, what do ya’ know? If it isn’t little miss marshmallow bunny getting herself locked in the bathroom… when the door isn’t even locked! How do you do that?! Scythe: Yeah! You might as well be one of the seven dwarves with how small you are! Anais: Actually, I already said that in the bathroom. Scythe: R-really? Anais: Yeah… Scythe: Shoot. Uh… oh! You’re such a short baby, you have to use the cat flap when you visit your grandma’s! Ha! Anais: I do. Mowdown: That only makes it even funnier! Julius: Man, you must have really low self-esteem… oh wait. What am I saying?! You’re so tiny that you make even your own self-esteem look big! Ha! Anais: So, you’re saying I’m so small, I have a ton of self-esteem? Is that just a really confused compliment or something? Julius: Wha- no! I-… the rest of the gang Don’t just stand there! Help me out here! Anais: Shouldn’t you guys be getting to class or something? gang laughs Julius: Are you hearing this girl? Reaper: You can’t be serious! Daisy’s doll Ooh… what’s that? Scythe: mockingly Why if it isn’t a little dolly! Anais: What?! snatches Daisy from Anais’ backpack Anais: Hey! Give Daisy back! Scythe: Aw! And you named it!... at Daisy Ew! Get what this thing!? Get it away from me! Daisy to Reaper Reaper: Ah! What is this ugly thing?! It looks like a hacky sack growing an infection! Mowdown: Seriously! This is just insulting to my kind! Kill it with fire! Anais: You better not! Julius: You’re right. Let’s give it back. It’s ugly anyway. Anais: Really? suddenly grabs the doll and duct tapes the doll to the locker Julius: Psyche! Anais: Hey! Daisy! gang laughs Julius: Come on! Let’s go pick on French fries over there. Idaho: Oh no! Not again! <away Julius: Get back here! gang runs off. Anais, however, stays and flails for her doll. Anais: groans Those stupid bullies! Daisy! I’ll get you down! Don’t worry! jumps for her doll. Unfortunately, she cannot jump very high. Anais slips her arms against the lockers, attempting to climb them. Enter Bobert, who sees Anais struggling Bobert: You appear to be in need of assistance. Allow me to retrieve your valued possession. his arm Anais: No! I need to overcome this myself! It’s the only way! Bobert: Are you sure? Anais: Yes! I’ll just get Daisy myself! Bobert: But the chances of that happening are literally 0.000000000000000000000000000000… Anais: Just go! Bobert: Very well then. leaves. Enter Sarah. Sarah: Huh. You know, I was wondering when your size would become the plot of an episode. Anais: Quiet! I’m trying to concentrate. for her doll Sarah: Sheesh. This is sadder than that cat flap incident. Anais: I don’t care. I- wait. How do you know about that?! Sarah: I was watching your flashbacks. Anais: But you weren’t even in the-… Okay. You are creeping me out. Plus, it’s rude to watch someone else’s flashbacks. Sarah: Gumball doesn’t mind when I do it. Anais: That’s probably because he doesn’t know you’re watching him! Look, I’m getting off-topic! Can you just leave? Sarah: You really think you can reach your doll with… ? You know? Anais: Yes! I can do this! I don’t need help! <for her doll Sarah: herself Sheesh. Now I know why Gumball hangs out with Darwin more than you. No wonder you have no fans… Anais: I heard that! jumping for her doll leaves. Enter Tina, who looks down at the locker. Tina: Uh… you-? Anais: No! Tina: Right. off Anais: Ugh! I’m sick of all of those bigger people trying to “help” me! How can I be the accomplishment I wanna be if people are doing the work for me? Tobias Anais: I told you people, I don’t want your help! I can overcome this on my own! Tobias: Who said I was gonna help you? This is hilarious! Anais: Wha- JERK! the lockers Seriously. It’s like these lockers get bigger with every jump I make! Tobias: Or maybe you’re just shrinking! Anais: OUT! walks off. The school bell rings Anais: Oh no! I’m late for class! Darn it! Uh, sorry Daisy! I’ll have to get you later. Maybe the tape will fall off! to her next class, but goes very slowly} Come on! Stupid tiny, sausage legs! Come on! [Sees the class door about to close No no no no no! door closes on Anais’ face Anais: No! Not again! her arm to knock the door, only to see a “NO KNOCKING SIGN” on it, with the words “Anyone who is found knocking will be reported to the principal” Are you kidding me?! Ugh. Guess I’ll just go back to jumping for it and- for the doorknob and actually manages to catch it, though she is hanging from the ground Woah! I actually didn’t expect that to work! Now, to turn it and- the door being locked Anais’ teacher: Now for attendance everyone! Anais: No wait! still hanging onto doorknob Fine! You win universe! I hope you enjoy seeing me suffer like this! down Man… it does look kind of high hanging from up here… is it getting hot in here or...? imagines the floor moving away from her going downward. Ah! What the what?! Help! Somebody! I’m gonna fall! Anais begins to panic at the frightening height and begins to rock back and forth, panting.] Anais: Help! Help! I’m losing my grip! up to her hand, to see it slipping off the doorknob AHH! I’m gonna die! hand gives up and slips off. Anais falls into the deep abyss, screaming. She falls to the hard, cold ground that causes her to blackout. Ominous voice: Kid. Hey kid. Wake up. Anais: and sees light D- Did I die?! Am I in-? ominous voice reveals to be Anais’ teacher Anais’ teacher: Nah. You just fell from the doorknob and started screaming like a baby. You only fell like 3 feet from the ground. Class just ended 10 minutes ago. Anais: What?! But the door looked so- I mean I- I got here at- But- how- first Daisy and now this- I-… grows tears in eyes and groans Why me?! Anais’ teacher: awkwardly I know this isn’t the best time but… I’m just gonna… mark you absent… It’s gonna go on your record… yeah. gives a glare at the teacher. to Gumball and Darwin just finishing up science class, horrified Gumball: What the what was that? Why did we need to learn that about that in so much detail… Shudders Darwin: I think I would’ve rather taken the dissecting frogs option than that. Gumball: It’s never going away in my brain… hey, did Anais get out of the bathroom yet? Daisy the donkey taped on locker door Yep. She did… and I think she wished she didn’t now. Darwin: Where is she now though? Anais, walking sadly from her class Darwin: What happened? Did you miss class again? nods Darwin: How did you miss it again?! Your class is only ten feet away from your locker. Less than that even! Anais: I know but- Darwin: I mean, I know you’re small and all that, but this Is “airing commercials after a show’s intro” level of stupid. Anais: I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. Ok? Gumball: Nah. Darwin’s right… to hold in laughter Although it is kind of funny when you think about it. I mean, I don’t exactly blame the world for these things happening to you. Have you seen the way you run with those stubs? It’s like a worm trying to walk with its tail. Anais: Gumball. I don’t- Gumball: And you really couldn’t reach that doll? Look at it! Even a garden gnome could reach that… when it’s legs are broken off. Anais: Ok. Very funny. Can we just sto- Gumball: Who even put that doll up there to begin with? It looks like a toddler did it. I mean, I’m surprised you even managed to survive this cruel world given your size and- Anais: OK! I GET IT! YOU’RE BIGGER THAN ME! CAN YOU STOP RUBBING IT IN? walks away, depressed Gumball: No need to use caps lock on me like that… Darwin: Don’t you think we went a bit far with- ? Gumball: I mean, who uses a cat flap to get in a house? to himself; acknowledging his species And coming from me, that is saying a lot! Also, don’t call her small… call her little, it’s way cuter that way. chuckles scarily glares at Gumball, who cowers Gumball: What’s your problem?! Darwin: My problem is the way we’ve been treating our sister! Gumball: Come on. We’re just having a laugh. Besides, it’s called brutal honesty. Darwin: Doesn’t it concern you that our sister is being picked on for something she can’t help and you’re just hear laughing at her instead of, I don’t know… helping her?! Gumball: …Okay, when you put it like that, itkind of makes me sound like a total jerkface… Darwin: Isn’t that how you’re acting right now? Gumball: Dude… Darwin: Brutal honesty. Remember? You said it yourself… Gumball: Gosh darn it. I hate when my own stupid logic is used against me… Sigh Alright. Maybe we went a little too far. Darwin: eyebrow Gumball: Alright! Let’s find her! and Gumball split up to find Anais. Enter Molly Molly: Gumball! There you are! I figured that since you’re one of the few people who listen to me I thought I might ask you something! Gumball: Firstly, that’s not true. I don’t listen to you at all. Secondly, I’m kind of busy myself- Molly: It’s my cat, Gerald! I lost him! I need your help looking for him! Gumball: Not right now, Molly, I- grabs Gumball’s arm and runs off, much to Gumball’s annoyance. Meanwhile, Darwin eventually stumbles into an empty janitor’s pail, where Anais is curled up into a ball in it. Darwin: There you are! Come on! Let’s go! Anais: I’m not going… Darwin: Girl, come on! Get out of- Anais: No! Leave me alone! Darwin: arm Listen, Anais, I’m sorry about what happened before. Anais: It’s not you… okay it is a little actually, but it’s mostly me. Darwin: What? Anais: You know what I mean... Darwin: No. I don’t. I really don’t… Anais: groans You make fun of it all the time! Darwin: What? Anais: It’s about one of my physical traits… Darwin: Your big ears? Anais: My small size! Darwin: Whaaat?! I don’t do that! Anais: Do you? montage of Anais’ previous flashbacks, only with the addition of Darwin holding his laughter in the background Darwin: Oh… I see now… Anais: You think it’s funny. Don’t you? You like seeing me struggle because of how big everything is compared to me?! Darwin: Not gonna lie… a little sometimes. Anais: sarcastically Gee. Thanks for that. Darwin: No no no no no no! Don’t be like that I- Anais: Do you think I like being like this?! blushes Darwin: Look, I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting lately. I really don’t mean harm. You might not be big on the outside, but in the inside, you are much more than you think you are. I mean think about it. Would the Anais I know look at herself and give up because a few people tell her she’s too small to accomplish anything? And would she be the kind of person who would spend the rest of her life literally sulking in a janitor’s bucket? looks down Darwin: Come on. Let’s see it. Anais: See what? Darwin: cheekily You know what I’m talking about. finally gives a cute rabbit smile Darwin: There it is! Anais: Thanks, Darwin. That really means a lot. Darwin: No prob. and Anais share a cute fist pump. Enter- Molly: Guys! Darwin and Anais: AHH! yeah. Molly. Darwin: Dude. We were having a heartwarming moment. What could be so important that you have to- Molly: It’s my cat, Gerald! Have you seen him? Anais: No? Molly: He’s ran off and I can’t find him! Oh, this reminds me of this funny time… Darwin: irritated And here we go… Molly: …back at my grandma’s house, where Gerald tried to use the cat flap… Anais: I know how that feels… Molly: …but he was so small he couldn’t even reach it, so he just gave up and ran off. Anais: Wait… what about the cat flap? Molly: Oh… see, Gerald is very small. Like, smaller than you could ever imagine. In fact, he’s so small, he’s only the size of a softball. Darwin: Wow! Molly: Anyway- wait! What am I doing?! I have to find Gerald! Gumball: up nervously Uh… Molly… you know your cat you’ve been blabbering about? Molly: Yeah?! What happened?! Gumball: I think I might have found him… Molly: Oh goodie! Gumball: …but when I tried to catch him, he proceeded to hiss at me and gave me this… around and pulls back his fur Molly, Darwin, and Anais: EEWWW! Molly: My gosh! Did Gerald do that to you?! Darwin: That small cat?! Gumball: He was scary! Alright? He was like a jack-in-the-box wrapped in a furball! Anais: That small thing got to you?! Darwin: Anais secretly Did I forget to mention not all big things seem that big when you really see through them? Molly: Where is he now?! Gumball: Well… cut to a giant tree outside of the school Gumball: to tree That’s where he went… Molly: shock G- G- G- Gerald?! Gumball: Worried Yeah… scary right? Molly: Gerald! I’m coming to get you! to climb tree, but the tree shakes violently Gumball: No! Don’t! She’s not on the tree! Molly: What do you mean? Gumball: He’s in the tree! to a hole leading inside the tree at the center of it Molly: Oh… Darwin: Dude! That tree is huge! Molly: Well… Gumball? Aren’t you going to climb it? Gumball: What?! Molly: Yeah! I’m too big to fit inside that tree hole, you could climb and get inside! Gumball: I- I can’t. I- Anais: smugly Too small for the tree? Gumball: N- No! See I’ll prove it to you! climbs the tree. Gumball nervously looks down, sees how far he is from the ground, and begins to scream. Gumball: petrified I wanna get down! I wanna get down! Molly: Uh… you only climbed like… 3 feet. Gumball: down Cut me some slack! Look at this tree! It makes everything seem high! Darwin: Wow. I don’t even know what to say to that. Gumball: Oh yeah?! You try! Darwin: Fine! climbs and looks down too. Darwin: AHHH! I can’t do it! I can’t do it! Gumball: Wow. Five feet from the ground. That’s brave. Darwin: down Oh. Well, I climbed higher than you did! Gumball: Barely. Darwin: You are in no position to talk! Anais: Oh, for gosh sake! I’ll get him! Gumball: You? Don’t you think you’re kind of a bit- covers Gumball’s mouth Darwin: Just do it! If none of us can do it, you can! I know you can do it! Anais: to the tree and takes a deep breath. She spots Darwin giving her a thumbs up. Here I go! the tree slowly Gumball: Okay. I know I just felt bad about calling my sister little before, but this is crazy! It’ll be like an ant going on a treadmill! It’ll go nowhere Darwin: Zip it, you! She’s already doing better than the both of us! Gumball: Anais nearing towards a quarter way up the tree Oh my gosh! That is far! Darwin: Eating your words right now? Gumball: Yeah. Big time… Anais: and sweating I can do this! Oh gosh… I’m so terrified… Darwin: You got this! Just keep looking up! Gumball: And don’t look down! Anais: she looks down and sees how far from the gorund she is. She’s reminded of the doorknob incident and begins panting rapidly and stressfully. Oh gosh… Oh gosh… I’m gonna die! AHHHH! Darwin: angrily Dude! Why would you say that?! Gumball: I just wanted to emphasize what you said! Darwin: You know exactly that when you say “don’t look down”, the climber is instantly going to look down. Gumball: Why though?! When I say “don’t look down”, I mean don’t look down! If I wanted someone to look down, I would say “look down”, but by having the “don’t” there, it means the person should not do it! Why can’t people just obey basic instructions?! slaps Gumball Gumball: Thanks… I needed that. Anais Uh- Ignore what I said! Just keep climbing, sis! is panting harder while looking down. She’s so scared that she begins to lose her grip and falls back. She screams as she nearly falls, but immediately gets a hold of herself and clings hard on the tree. She goes back to climbing and finally makes it into the hole Gumball: Yeah! She made it! Darwin: Way to go! a thumbs up Anais: sees Gumball also giving a thumbs up and returns with a thumbs up I’m not small anymore! inside the tree Molly: Yeah! She made it! at Gumball and Darwin So… who wants to talk about my memories with Gerald?! Gumball: Darwin does! Darwin: What?! inside the tree, Anais begins searching around, noticing how spacious it is.The inside reveals to have house like setting. Anais: What the wha-…? How is this tree so big on the inside?! It didn’t look like that on the outside! I guess Darwin really was right. Things are a lot bigger on the inside than they appear. arms in air Yay for explaining metaphors! ears perk up when she hears a cat’s soft, worried meow Anais: gasps Gerald! quickly runs the side of the tree and sees a path going down a level under. Anais: Seriously?! Did someone build a house in here or something? Well, better gon down there and- and accidentally slides down the path, screaming along the way; eventually hits the bottom of the path. Ow! perks up again Gerald! He must be nearby! sees something hiding in the corner of the tree… there was Gerald, the smallest cat Anais had ever seen. Gerald was only a few inches big and was light brown from his head to his tail. His ears looked like tiny spikes of hair, his legs were only the size of pegs, and his tail looked like a string of yarn. The tiny cat was shivering in the corner, looking lonely. Anais: Aw… look at you… poor little guy… hisses at Anais Anais: Don’t worry, little fella. I’m here to protect you… you cute, little- hisses again and scratches her frantically. He then runs off, Anais: Ow! What the heck is wrong with you!? I’m trying to rescue you! meows crossly and runs off Anais: Gumball was right… he is a feisty little one. Gerald Gerald! Wait! after Gerald chases Gerald around the tree. The tiny cat slips under a mousehole. Anais: Gerald! Get out of there, you little rascal! remained silent Anais: Why you little- ! screeches. Anais pauses for a moment, her anger turning into concern for the cat. Anais: Gerald… do you… not like being called little? gave a small annoyed meow Anais: Oh… I- I’m sorry, Gerald. I’m not here to hurt you, I-… I didn’t- pauses again and looks at the cat and then at herself. She notices how big she is compared to Gerald. Seeing the cat reminds Anais of herself. In her mind, she pictured herself being picked on by the bullies, then pictured Gerald in her place and Anais in the bullies’ place. Anais begins to shed tears. For once in her life, Anais felt big. Bigger than anything… and now, she didn’t like it all Anais: I’m sorry… I know what it’s like to be small. Everyone, even the universe, picks on me for how small I am. I- I know how you feel. I might seem big to you in comparison right now, but in real life, I’m also one of the littlest beings on Elmore… everyone always looking down on me… and not taking me seriously because of my size. sees how upset Anais is and shows signs of forgiveness by coming out of the hole and crawling on Anais’ lap Anais: Aw… you are kind of sweet after all… you know, Gerald. Being small really isn’t a bad thing now that I think about it. A friend of mine told me that sizes don’t detract you of what your capable of doing… I mean, if I wasn’t this small, I wouldn’t be able to rescue you like this. You get what I’m saying. purrs kindly at her Anais: You shouldn’t let being small get to you so easily. It’s all about being the “bigger” man. chuckles And you know, I’d much rather be seen as cute and small than big and hideous. You know? Come on. Let’s get out of here… as soon as I figure out how to do just that… feels like walls of the inside Anais: Wow. These walls feel thin. They look like you could just push through them! she hears a voice. Gumball: outside Anais! Anais! Are you in there?! Anais: Gumball! I- I must be at the ground! Gumball Hang on! I’m coming! pushes the wall of the trunk, but it doesn’t break. She puts Gerald down and walks to the back, then with all her power, she runs head first into the trunk and breaks down. Light shoots down at her. Anais: I- I’m out! Gumball: up to Anais and hugs her Anais! Anais! You’re safe! Anais: Of course! It’s only been a few minutes. Gumball: Dude! It’s been an hour long! We thought you were gonna die of starvation of something! Anais: Really?! It felt so short. Gumball: down Look, about what I said back in the hallway… Anais: Yes… go on. Gumball: I’m really sorry. Anais: Really? For what? Gumball: For, you know, calling you small and then teasing you about it. Anais: I know. I just wanted to hear you say it. and Gumball laugh Darwin: I’m just gonna make this awkward! in on laughter Molly: Gerald Gerald! You’re back! My little kitty is safe. at first let’s out an irked meow, but then glances at Anais and remains silent Molly: Oh. My Gerald is safe! Gerald, who in return nuzzles in her arms Gumball: Oh, by the way, go this for you. pulls out Daisy from behind him Anais: Daisy! Daisy and hugs Gumball Thank you! Darwin: So… still think being small is a hinder for you? Anais: Well, after today, not at all. In fact, being small comes with its rewards. I’m fine just the way I am, and now no one can make fun of me anymore! Julius: the background Hey big ears! Kind of hard to se your face when they’re flopping all over the place! and his gang laugh Anais: Gosh darn it… THE END Reviews TBA